Friday, January 10, 2014

Dear Cole

Dear Cole,

Oh my darling.  It's been awhile since I've wrote you a letter like this.  Now that you're older, I can tell you all these things I usually write down - you are old enough and wise enough to listen and absorb!

But this is important, so I wanted to write it down.

My son, in just a few days or weeks, your little brother will be arriving.  Now, you and I have been best buddies for three and half years.  You've been my constant companion, my sidekick, my errand buddy, my partner.  We've figured out this parenting gig together.  I've practiced my new parent skills on you.  We've given each other grace with learning how to be mama and son. 

But now, we have a new little boy joining our family.  A tiny babe who will take up so much time and energy and attention.  I'm not going to lie, sweetie - it will be a time of transition.  A time of learning how to be a parent to two kids (me) and how to share your mama (you).  It will be harder to get out of the house, with two littles in tow.  If breastfeeding works out this time, it will mean hours each day I'm tied to the sofa, feeding Baby Brother. 

Can I tell you something? I'm a little bit sad about this change coming up, too.  I've so enjoyed our time together, little man.  I've loved having my world revolve around just you.  I've loved spending time focusing on your needs, your interests and passions.  I know you probably won't remember this sweet time we've had together, but I will - and I will treasure it.

I'm going to make you a promise now, my darling boy.  I promise I will love you at least as much as I did before your little brother came along - probably even more, since I'll get to see your tender heart loving and nurturing your baby brother.  I promise to still make time for just the two of us.  I promise to be patient with you while we all transition.  I promise that, even though things will be very different, we will still always be a loving family.

Thanks for being my firstborn.  I love you so much, my boy.

Love, Mama

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