Bits and Pieces

"MOM, I REALLY REALLY LIKE CHASE.  THANK YOU FOR HAVING HIM!"

Every night, I ask Cole what his favorite part of the day was and what his saddest part of his day was.  One night, after we moved Chase's car seat to the middle, right next to Cole's seat to make room in the car for some chairs, Cole told me his favorite part of the day was having Chase in his seat right next to him.  And I believe it - those two did not stop laughing and giggling the entire way home!

 

"BUT MOM, YOU DIDN'T REALLY LOOK, YOU JUST GLANCED.  JUST GLANCED OUT OF THE CORNER OF YOUR EYE.  I WANT YOU TO LOOK."

One of our little neighbor girls (she's around Cole's age) was riding her bike and fell off.  Cole ran to her and asked her if she was ok.  "Yeah, I'm ok." she said.  "Do you need a kiss on your owie?" Cole asked.

Waiting

I sort of thought I wouldn't be in for too many surprises when it came to Chase.  After all, this isn't my first rodeo, right?  How much more could I learn the second time around?

Apparently, plenty.  And what information I already knew, I can now appreciate and value that much more.

Take last week, for example.  I was giving Chase a bath while he was playing with a little cup.  He dropped the cup and it floated away, just out of reach.  I immediately went to give it to him, but I stopped  - it took a few tries, but Chase eventually figured out that if he splashed his hands enough, it caused waves that brought his cup back within reach. 

The look on his face, you guys. So, so proud of himself.

And not only that - what did I teach him by letting him figure it out on his own?  That he is capable.  That he can try and fail and it's perfectly ok.  That sometimes when he tries, he succeeds. 

A huge part of parenting for me is trusting the process.  Letting our kids figure things out independently, uninterrupted. I love stepping back and observing their brains at work.

Just another reminder of how much of a reward stepping back and simply waiting can be.

Thoughts on Preschool

Gosh, it's so hard.

If I could sum up how I feel about parenting in one phrase, it would be the quote: "Parenting is like walking around all the time with your heart beating outside your body."

So, so true. 

And it's even more apparent and applicable for preschool for Cole. 

Don't get me wrong, I've been totally excited for Cole to go to school.  He needed more stimulation than I have time to give him.  He needed more time around other little friends.  It's a great experience for him to be away from me for a few hours every week.

But there's always that niggling little concern: I love Cole so, so much.  I want to keep him protected and safe from any harm.  I never want him to get hurt and I'm not there to hug him if he needs it.  I never want him to feel left out or embarrassed. I never want him scolded by a teacher.  I never want his spirit broken in any way.

I know I'm biased, but he's SUCH an amazing kid.  He's bright and sweet and generous.  If he understands why the rules are there, he'll follow them.  He's polite and kind and an AMAZING listener.  He has lovely manners and a great easygoing attitude. 

Earlier this week, three things happened that totally reinforced this feeling for me:

1. Cole's been playing a lot with our little neighborhood kiddos.  An eight year old girl, a seven year old boy, and four year old girl, and Cole are pretty tight during these long summer evenings.  But a few days ago, we pulled into our driveway from doing an errand and Cole spotted his friends out playing - he eagerly asked if he could play, and the seven year old boy immediately said "NO!".  Cole handled it really well, but I was ready to go a little crazy on that kid.

2. After his first full day of preschool, I asked Cole how his day went.  "Something sad happened today, Mom." he said.  "I asked some boys if I could help them dig their hole and they said, 'NO! You can't help us dig! Go away!'"  My heart just about broke when I saw the tears in his eyes.  Nothing like has ever happened before to my sweet, sensitive little guy.  All he knows are loving, kind words and being included with lots of friends.  I asked what he did in response, and he told me, "I just went over to a different spot and dug my own hole."  A perfect response, exactly what I would have suggested and guided him to do.  But how do I guide him through those sad and hurt feelings?

3.  The next full day of preschool, Cole didn't want me to leave.  He clung to me and burst into tears when I gave him a five-minute warning that I was leaving.  The teachers had to literally hold him so he wouldn't run after me in a screaming, crying panic.

You guys.

It was the worst - the WORST - I have ever felt as a parent.  It was absolutely heartbreaking.  I was sobbing just as hard as Cole was as I walked out to my car.  I was totally unprepared - the first couple days had gone so well.  It was all I could do to leave my poor screaming child.  I trust his teachers.  I know he stopped crying within ten minutes (because I called to check on him).  But it was still the longest two and half hours of my life.

Undoubtedly, this is the most difficult by FAR part of parenting for me.  I just want to protect my child from ever feeling this heartbroken.  Yet, I have to prepare him for life.  And unfortunately, in life, people are going to leave him out of things.  People are going to ignore him or not allow him to join in.  He has to practice.

But - oh my heart.  All I want to do is keep him home and safe and loved for all time.  I hope our love is enough to counteract all the nasty things that happen out there in the big, bad world.

Apple Picking

Our yearly traditions continue!  Last year, we had so much fun apple picking, we couldn't wait to do it again!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Best Buds!

 

Mama Gray held Chase so I could take pictures:

 

 Group shot!  Those smiles are real...the kids (and grown-ups) had so much fun!

Cuddles with Mark!

Weighing the apples - we brought home almost nine pounds!

Snack break!  Pumpkin cookies, pumpkin muffins, and lots of horsing around!

Chase REALLY wanted some:

 

 

 

 

 

 

A perfect yearly tradition - and I love that it's the first tradition of the fall season!  Autumn, here we come!