Wait

This is the most important word I have learned so far as a parent. 


Wait


Let's face it, it's hard to wait.  There's things to do, people to see, places to go.  It's hard to let go of all that hurried-ness and impatience and let the tiny humans do things at their own pace, ALL BY THEMSELVES.  It's not easy.  And we WANT to help, we WANT to make things easier - but ninety percent of the time, that's not the best thing to do.


For example, I might be observing Cole playing with a bowl and a spoon.  I KNOW how much he would enjoy banging the spoon on the bowl, or how much he'd love to wear the bowl as a hat.  But that might not be what HE wants to do.  He might want to pretend to stir.  Or feel the edges of the bowl with the spoon.  Or ignore the spoon altogether and roll the bowl around on the floor.  Who am I to tell Cole how to play with something?  He DOESN'T NEED HELP playing - he was born playing and learning.  It's the equivalent of someone interrupting your favorite TV show and making you watch "Bachelor Pad" instead.  Sure, you'll do it, but you might not enjoy it!

Another example is the time last week when Cole was given a new toy to explore - a set of stacking cups.  I could have shown him how to stack the cups, how to take them apart, put them in order of size - or I could just give them to him and WAIT.  He might come up with an even better idea than I ever could.  He might not even want to play with the cups.  By allowing him to choose fully WHAT to play with and HOW to play with it, without any interference or "help" from me, I am teaching him to be self-sufficient and self-entertaining.  He knows that I have enough faith in his abilities to do things on his own, and that creates such a powerful feeling of self-confidence.

The same holds true with blocks or trains or any ordinary object - who am I to dictate how he plays with something or explores something?  The best favor I can do for Cole is to sit back quietly and just wait - watch and observe. 

I am always amazed at what he does, completely on his own.