Friday, May 21, 2010

The bad word: Change

I believe I have referenced once or twice or a million times how much I dislike (I'm trying to be a grown-up here and not use the word HATE even though that's what I mean) change.

I like things to stay exactly the same.

But, in this little situation of mine, that would be quite a pickle.

I am desperately eager for this change that's coming - even though it will be THE HUGEST CHANGE EVER!!

But there's definitely a part of me that is a little nervous (read: panicking!) about this change. Um, hello, the little person inside of me is going to come out and totally turn our world upside down. Never, ever again will things be the same. We will forever be a family of three, no longer just a young couple. We will make sacrifices and decisions based on this little person. We will worry constantly and extensively about everything and anything that may or may not have to do with this little person (ok, that will just be me. Chris doesn't worry).

It's not that we aren't incredibly happy and thrilled and excited and a hundred other enthusiastic words about bringing our child into this world - we are! I have been dreaming of this day for years, I know Baby Boy will complete our little family in the most perfect way imaginable.

But I think there's a little part of me that needs to grieve a bit for the loss of who we once were. And I think that's ok. I think acknowledging this huge change is exactly what I need to come to terms with my new self as a mother.

And I can't wait for this HUGE ENORMOUS change to grace us with his prescence!

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