Now that I've been a parent for more than a year, I feel like I (mostly) have things pretty well under control. Things that would have floored me a short 12 months ago I can now take in stride. Breastfeeding in public? SO not a problem. Installing a carseat? I'm all over that action. Changing a dirty diaper on a squirming infant in a public restroom without a changing table? Um, ok, I guess that one I'm still not awesome at. (Sidenote: can someone please tell me why it is still not legal for all public restrooms to have a changing table?! Someone call your legislator about this!)
But the point is, most things regarding baby don't throw me (famous last words).
Except for shopping carts.
Yeah, you'd think that if I could handle changing poopy blow-out diapers, a little thing like a shopping cart wouldn't stress me out. Think again.
Ok, so here's my issue. You know how most people try to park as far away from those shopping cart corral thingys as they can to avoid shopping cart damage to their car? Well, not I. (That is to say, in towns where people are actually NOT too lazy to walk the 10 feet to put their shopping cart in the corral and not just push it away from their own car and usually into someone else's).
I like to live dangerously. So I tend to park RIGHT NEXT to the corrals.
I can just hear my mom gasping aloud at this confession.
But just wait! I have a really good reason for this.
Ok, so when you have a squirming (and STRONG) little baby, a big ol' diaper bag, and a fancy shmancy shopping cart cover that usually requires two well-coordinated hands to put it on, you need a little help.
Let me tell you, the first time I took Cole to the grocery store by myself without his handy infant carrier, I was totally overwhelmed. I was all, OH MY GOSH I NEED TO GROW AT LEAST TWO MORE ARMS RIGHT NOW! I was standing in the middle of the parking lot with my hands full, holding a cart and trying desperately to figure out how exactly I was going to get the cover on the cart, the baby in the cart, and the diaper bag in the cart.
AND it was raining. Fabulous.
So after the grocery shopping experience, I proceeded to load Cole into the carseat first, to get him out of the rain, load my groceries, and then look around in a panic because to be a responsible cart-borrower I needed to walk my cart over the corral which was TEN WHOLE FEET AWAY - away from my baby, fastened snugly into his carseat in the car.
The dilemma, people. You could see it my eyes. What to do, what to do - why don't they teach these kinds of important things in childbirth class?! How far away from my unattended child do I go? I could just picture a car-jacker watching me from afar - "AHA! She's taking the cart back to the corral, the responsible gal! Now's my chance to take her car AND kidnap her adorable baby!"
Given the choice between leaving a cart in a (GASP) parking space or a kidnapper stealing my baby, I regretfully pushed the cart away, all the while sneaking embarrassed glances around to make sure no one was going to roll down their window and tell me to PUT THE CART IN THE CORRAL YOU LAZY SELFISH PERSON! (not that I've ever thought about doing that or anything).
So, like any halfway intelligent human, I learned from this experience. And I now risk dents in my car by parking right next to the corral. Because a dented car is WAY better than a kidnapped baby.
I'm telling you, I need to put in a guest appearance at childbirth class. Then all new moms could save themselves so much stress.
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