Silver Lining

Even with all the heartbreak and the painful D & C surgery, Chris and I are reminded that it could have been so much worse in so many ways.

-If we hadn't requested an ultrasound, we most likely wouldn't have had one done until my 21 week mark (after a cross-country trip during my 20 week mark).  I don't even want to think about how much more painful seeing that lack of heartbeat on the sonogram would have been six weeks from now.

- We are so glad the doctor decided to do a D & C.  He mentioned to us that it was a possibility at 15 weeks to induce labor with Picodin and deliver the baby that way.  It would have been lengthy, sad, and painful - emotionally, a D & C was much less hurtful.

-Amazing family and friends.  We have had dinners generously delivered to our door so I don't have to cook.  My mom drove all the way up at the last minute to help.  My in-laws and hubby have gracious and kind regarding us having to cancel our planned vacation to Yosemite this week.  I am so, so grateful for so many loving, kind, unselfish people in our lives right now.

- Our little man.  Oh, how this darling of mine has been an amazing and sensitive distraction so I don't wallow in sadness.  He keeps me busy, but not so busy that he doesn't have time for his frequent (and more so now that he is sensing my sadness) huge hugs and wet smooches.  I've said it before - Cole is truly an old soul, with an intuition and sensitivity that is older than his years.  I'm so overwhelmingly proud of him.

-When the doctor first told me it was possibly a partial molar pregnancy, Chris and I went home and researched what it meant.  Most websites said not to try for another baby for 6-12 months - I am so grateful that our doctor told us around the 9 month mark instead of a year.  I truly feel like most of my healing will be when we get pregnant again, so the sooner the better.

And on top of all that silver lining, we are constantly reminded that even in the midst of our sadness, there are others out there who have it so much worse and still manage to be inspiring and selfless people.